Casino Quotes Funny Like Clown

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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/MonsterClown

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Fan Fiction
Her pink face was painted pale white, except around her eyes where the white was disrupted by inky black circles. A sloppily painted teardrop decorated her left cheek — but Pinstripe hardly noticed it, or the tinge of green now coloring the ends of her tangled mane.
He was busy staring at her scars.
Film - Animated

Laugh at 20 really funny clown jokes and puns. We did our best to bring you only the best ones. 20 A circus performer was pulled over for speeding. Spanning nearly 40 years of hip-hop history, these lines show that MCs have always had a knack for cracking funny jokes, whether it's at their own expense or that of their rivals. And while some rappers deliver cutting insults, some just like spitting puns that would make the corniest dad proud. 149 Lame Jokes That Are So Dumb, They’re Actually Funny Looking for some funny lame jokes? These jokes might sound lame just like the title signifies, but believe me, they will definitely crack you up, don’t forget to contribute your own jokes in the comment section below.

Batman/Terry McGinnis: What can you tell me about clowns?
Commissioner Barbara Gordon: In this town, they're never funny.
Run.
— The clown from Toaster's nightmare, The Brave Little Toaster
Advertisement:
Film - Live-Action
Why so serious? ...Let's put a smile on that face!
What's the matter kid, don't you like clowns? Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cause I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your mama, and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fuckin' family.
Yes... They all float...note And when you're down here... with me... YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!
Literature
Brienne of Tarth: You are no better than the rest of them. You have robbed and raped and murdered.
Shagwell the Fool: Oh, I have, I have, I shan’t deny it... but I’m amusing, with all my japes and capers. I make men laugh.
Brienne of Tarth: And women weep.
Shagwell the Fool: Is that my fault? Women have no sense of humor.
Nicer the man, meaner the clown.
And laughter rose from the circus tent as the clowns drove on in their happy jalopy and gave balloons to the children, and when they left there were smiles on the faces of nearly all those in the audience, except for the very clever children who sensed that there was more to clowns than bright suits and funny cars and oversized feet, and that if you were wise you didn't laugh at them, and you stayed out of their way, and you never pryed into their business, for clowns are lonely and angry and want company in their misery. They are always seeking, always searching for new clowns to join them...
Guignol.
All Paris, it seemed, talked of the capering mountebank. Mention was made of his padded paunch, his camel's hump, his gross red nose, his too-wide grin, his terrible teeth, his rouged cheeks, his white gloves with long sharp nails bursting the fingertip seams, his red-and-white striped tights, his jerkin embroidered with skulls and snakes and bats, his shock of white hair, his curly-toed boots, his quick mind, his cruel quips, his shrill songs...
Live-Action TV
You were a wonderful clown once. Inventive, funny, outrageous.
— Bellboy to the Chief Clown, now Chief Collaborator with the Gods of Ragnarok and increasingly sadistic, Doctor Who, 'The Greatest Show in the Galaxy'
Nate: What do you think parents are most afraid of?
Parker: Clowns.
Nate: No.
Parker: Evil clowns?
Nate: No, Parker.
Parker: Crazy clowns called Geegee who whisper your name from under your bed?
Nate: (beat) No.
Joey: Okay, ducks is heads, because ducks... have heads.
Chandler:...Kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?!
Music
This used to be a funhouse,
But now it's full of evil clowns.
It's time to start the countdown;
I'm gonna burn it down, down,
I'm gonna burn it down.
Tabletop Games
Without exception, Death Jesters possess a grisly sense of humour that leads them to seek new and inventive ways to terrorize, torment and eventually kill their victims. They can sometimes be heard chuckling or humming in the midst of battle, and will occasionally pause to sketch a deep bow or offer mocking applause to foes whose horrible fates have especially entertained them.
Killing the foe is not enough for a Death Jester. To make war worthwhile, they must intersperse death with ironic humour. Slaying an officer at the crescendo of a rallying speech, panicking enemy sappers so they flee into their own minefield, or wounding a heavy weapon trooper so their shot flies wide and destroy the very objective they were defending; these are the kinds of cruel deed in which Death Jesters find their amusement. Indeed, there are few in the galaxy as talented or imaginative when it comes to writing the tragic comedy of war.
Advertisement:
Theme Parks
Not afraid of the dark? You don't know Jack!
— Tagline referring to Jack the Clown, Universal'sHalloween Horror Nights
Take the Carnival. Look at 'em, they're really scary. There's nothing more terrifying than a homicidal female clown with a tambourine.
What's a clown doing here? Everyone knows the only thing scarier than a horde of zombies is a clown. Behold the true face of fear!
Crazed, axe-wielding clowns? I'm gonna have nightmares for sure!
Let your enemies fear! For the Harlequins of the Laughing God dance by your side!
Aww ***. There just had to be a friggin' clown...
— Max's dad, after a clown at a fast food restaurant for Max's birthday accidentally scares Max and his friends, Max: An Autistic Journey.
TC: I AM GOING TO MOTHERFUCKING KILL ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
TC: and paint the wicked pictures with your motherfuckin blood.
TC: FROM YOUR VEINS WILL DRIP MY MIRACLES.
TC: your crushed bones will make my special stardust.
TC: WELCOME TO THE DARK CARNIVAL, BROTHER.
Napalm Man: The fact of the matter is that Kefka is nothing more than a glorified clown.
Cut Man: I believe you underestimate the sheer fear-inducing energy a clown possesses. Take The Joker for example. For starters, he was played by Jack Nicholson. That's kinda scary enough. Then he was played by Mark Hamill, the most evil voice actor in the world. To hell with acting, Mark Hamill WAS the Joker. Also, clowns with chainsaws? SCARY AS ALL HOLY HELL. That should be outlawed in every place on Earth. Ever. And look at Kefka himself. He looks like he fell off the insanity tree, hit every branch on the way down, then hit a trampoline, and hit them again.
Napalm Man: But Why would Emperor Ghestahl even have Kefka as a high-ranking member of the military if he looked like a clown?
Cut Man: When you're charging at your enemy, who's charging at you with their weapon drawn... who would you rather see? One of those evil The Lord of the Rings orcs? Or an insane clown?
[After terrifying Paz with an illusoryCircus of Fear]
Mort: ...and how did you know that girl didn't like clowns?
Antimony:[Deadpan] Nobody likes clowns.
Web Original
Funny clown pics and sayings
And there's this clown... but it's not a very funny clown. He made me realize why I'm so afraid of clowns. [...] He is a psychopathic clown with deep psychological issues who looks like he put on his grandmother's makeup wrong.
With Krinkles the Clown as the mascot, every serving of Sugar Krinkles now had the vitamins and minerals of one handful of flesh and the fear you need to get you going in the morning. The prize inside every box was whispers. Whenever you lost a kitchen knife in 1969, you would somehow always find it inside New Post's Sugar Krinkles. The side of the box had photos of missing children, but each of them was labeled 'Ingredients.' Sugar Krinkles was eventually pulled from the shelf, but Krinkles the Clown continued to find work. He now appears in mirrors every time you look away from them.
— Cracked, 'The 8 Most Baffling Food Mascots of All Time'
Wiz: They visit you for birthday parties, cheer you up when you're sad, and probably also want to kill you.
Boomstick: Clowns...
(A clown suddenly appears in his house, cackling villainously)
Jon:(laughing)Oh thank God, it's just a clown.(pulls out a pistoland kills the clown with one shot)
Nozo produces a variety of cartoonish sproings, boings, honks, cuckoos, hee-haws, quacks, giggles, and bloodcurdling screams of hellish agony to keep children amused.
'I SENSE EVIL CLOWN SHIT.'note
—Bob, Tropers: The Series (S5:E20, 'The Carnival Is Not Over')
You gotta believe me, Mandy! The clowns are nothing but ULTIMATE EVIL! They wanna be the dominant species on the planet, and they'll destroy us all to make it happen! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!
Can't sleep, clown will eat me... can't sleep, clown will eat me... can't sleep, clown will eat me...
Clown smash!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go kill some evil clowns.
You have made me one VERY SAD CLOWN!
Advertisement:
Real Life
A clown is funny in the circus ring. But what would be the normal reaction to opening a door at midnight, and finding the same clown standing there in the moonlight?
You know... clowns can get away with murder!
— John Wayne Gacy, allegedly said to taunt police shortly before his arrest
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Few things are as hopelessly saturated with the stink of fear and death as a colorful, smiling clown. As my four-year-old son put it after having clowns explained to him: 'So clowns are supposed to be funny, but then they accidentally make you sad and afraid?'
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and evil clowns.

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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/MonsterClown

Funny Clowns Video

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Fan Fiction

Funny Clowns Youtube

Her pink face was painted pale white, except around her eyes where the white was disrupted by inky black circles. A sloppily painted teardrop decorated her left cheek — but Pinstripe hardly noticed it, or the tinge of green now coloring the ends of her tangled mane.
He was busy staring at her scars.
Film - Animated
Batman/Terry McGinnis: What can you tell me about clowns?
Commissioner Barbara Gordon: In this town, they're never funny.
Run.
— The clown from Toaster's nightmare, The Brave Little Toaster
Advertisement:
Film - Live-Action
Why so serious? ...Let's put a smile on that face!
What's the matter kid, don't you like clowns? Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cause I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your mama, and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole fuckin' family.
Yes... They all float...note And when you're down here... with me... YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!
Literature
Brienne of Tarth: You are no better than the rest of them. You have robbed and raped and murdered.
Shagwell the Fool: Oh, I have, I have, I shan’t deny it... but I’m amusing, with all my japes and capers. I make men laugh.
Brienne of Tarth: And women weep.
Shagwell the Fool: Is that my fault? Women have no sense of humor.
Nicer the man, meaner the clown.
And laughter rose from the circus tent as the clowns drove on in their happy jalopy and gave balloons to the children, and when they left there were smiles on the faces of nearly all those in the audience, except for the very clever children who sensed that there was more to clowns than bright suits and funny cars and oversized feet, and that if you were wise you didn't laugh at them, and you stayed out of their way, and you never pryed into their business, for clowns are lonely and angry and want company in their misery. They are always seeking, always searching for new clowns to join them...
Guignol.
All Paris, it seemed, talked of the capering mountebank. Mention was made of his padded paunch, his camel's hump, his gross red nose, his too-wide grin, his terrible teeth, his rouged cheeks, his white gloves with long sharp nails bursting the fingertip seams, his red-and-white striped tights, his jerkin embroidered with skulls and snakes and bats, his shock of white hair, his curly-toed boots, his quick mind, his cruel quips, his shrill songs...
Live-Action TV
You were a wonderful clown once. Inventive, funny, outrageous.
— Bellboy to the Chief Clown, now Chief Collaborator with the Gods of Ragnarok and increasingly sadistic, Doctor Who, 'The Greatest Show in the Galaxy'
Nate: What do you think parents are most afraid of?
Parker: Clowns.
Nate: No.
Parker: Evil clowns?
Nate: No, Parker.
Parker: Crazy clowns called Geegee who whisper your name from under your bed?
Nate: (beat) No.
Joey: Okay, ducks is heads, because ducks... have heads.
Chandler:...Kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?!
Music
This used to be a funhouse,
But now it's full of evil clowns.
It's time to start the countdown;
I'm gonna burn it down, down,
I'm gonna burn it down.
Tabletop Games
Without exception, Death Jesters possess a grisly sense of humour that leads them to seek new and inventive ways to terrorize, torment and eventually kill their victims. They can sometimes be heard chuckling or humming in the midst of battle, and will occasionally pause to sketch a deep bow or offer mocking applause to foes whose horrible fates have especially entertained them.
Killing the foe is not enough for a Death Jester. To make war worthwhile, they must intersperse death with ironic humour. Slaying an officer at the crescendo of a rallying speech, panicking enemy sappers so they flee into their own minefield, or wounding a heavy weapon trooper so their shot flies wide and destroy the very objective they were defending; these are the kinds of cruel deed in which Death Jesters find their amusement. Indeed, there are few in the galaxy as talented or imaginative when it comes to writing the tragic comedy of war.
Advertisement:
Theme Parks
Not afraid of the dark? You don't know Jack!
— Tagline referring to Jack the Clown, Universal'sHalloween Horror Nights
Take the Carnival. Look at 'em, they're really scary. There's nothing more terrifying than a homicidal female clown with a tambourine.
What's a clown doing here? Everyone knows the only thing scarier than a horde of zombies is a clown. Behold the true face of fear!

Clown Quotes And Sayings

Crazed, axe-wielding clowns? I'm gonna have nightmares for sure!
Let your enemies fear! For the Harlequins of the Laughing God dance by your side!
Aww ***. There just had to be a friggin' clown...
— Max's dad, after a clown at a fast food restaurant for Max's birthday accidentally scares Max and his friends, Max: An Autistic Journey.
TC: I AM GOING TO MOTHERFUCKING KILL ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
TC: and paint the wicked pictures with your motherfuckin blood.
TC: FROM YOUR VEINS WILL DRIP MY MIRACLES.
TC: your crushed bones will make my special stardust.
TC: WELCOME TO THE DARK CARNIVAL, BROTHER.
Napalm Man: The fact of the matter is that Kefka is nothing more than a glorified clown.
Cut Man: I believe you underestimate the sheer fear-inducing energy a clown possesses. Take The Joker for example. For starters, he was played by Jack Nicholson. That's kinda scary enough. Then he was played by Mark Hamill, the most evil voice actor in the world. To hell with acting, Mark Hamill WAS the Joker. Also, clowns with chainsaws? SCARY AS ALL HOLY HELL. That should be outlawed in every place on Earth. Ever. And look at Kefka himself. He looks like he fell off the insanity tree, hit every branch on the way down, then hit a trampoline, and hit them again.
Napalm Man: But Why would Emperor Ghestahl even have Kefka as a high-ranking member of the military if he looked like a clown?
Cut Man: When you're charging at your enemy, who's charging at you with their weapon drawn... who would you rather see? One of those evil The Lord of the Rings orcs? Or an insane clown?
[After terrifying Paz with an illusoryCircus of Fear]
Mort: ...and how did you know that girl didn't like clowns?
Antimony:[Deadpan] Nobody likes clowns.
Web Original
And there's this clown... but it's not a very funny clown. He made me realize why I'm so afraid of clowns. [...] He is a psychopathic clown with deep psychological issues who looks like he put on his grandmother's makeup wrong.
With Krinkles the Clown as the mascot, every serving of Sugar Krinkles now had the vitamins and minerals of one handful of flesh and the fear you need to get you going in the morning. The prize inside every box was whispers. Whenever you lost a kitchen knife in 1969, you would somehow always find it inside New Post's Sugar Krinkles. The side of the box had photos of missing children, but each of them was labeled 'Ingredients.' Sugar Krinkles was eventually pulled from the shelf, but Krinkles the Clown continued to find work. He now appears in mirrors every time you look away from them.
— Cracked, 'The 8 Most Baffling Food Mascots of All Time'
Wiz: They visit you for birthday parties, cheer you up when you're sad, and probably also want to kill you.
Boomstick: Clowns...
(A clown suddenly appears in his house, cackling villainously)

Quotes About Clowns

Jon:(laughing)Oh thank God, it's just a clown.(pulls out a pistoland kills the clown with one shot)

Funny Clown Pics And Sayings

Nozo produces a variety of cartoonish sproings, boings, honks, cuckoos, hee-haws, quacks, giggles, and bloodcurdling screams of hellish agony to keep children amused.
'I SENSE EVIL CLOWN SHIT.'note
—Bob, Tropers: The Series (S5:E20, 'The Carnival Is Not Over')
You gotta believe me, Mandy! The clowns are nothing but ULTIMATE EVIL! They wanna be the dominant species on the planet, and they'll destroy us all to make it happen! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!
Can't sleep, clown will eat me... can't sleep, clown will eat me... can't sleep, clown will eat me...
Clown smash!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go kill some evil clowns.
You have made me one VERY SAD CLOWN!
Advertisement:
Real Life
A clown is funny in the circus ring. But what would be the normal reaction to opening a door at midnight, and finding the same clown standing there in the moonlight?
You know... clowns can get away with murder!
— John Wayne Gacy, allegedly said to taunt police shortly before his arrest
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Few things are as hopelessly saturated with the stink of fear and death as a colorful, smiling clown. As my four-year-old son put it after having clowns explained to him: 'So clowns are supposed to be funny, but then they accidentally make you sad and afraid?'
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and evil clowns.

Index

  • « Quotes »